Looking for something fun, healthy and different to do with the family this Victoria Day long weekend?

Use your SENSES Scavenger Hunt List

You will need to collect some items and describe some items using your senses…explain your discoveries! Materials: collection bag, clipboard, pencil. REMEMBER: there is no right or wrong, no rules...enjoy nature!
FIND: Wild flower,  Dead tree-describe shape, size, how did it die? Berry, Stream/Creek –describe location, size, and sound, Blade of grass, Grain of sand, Y-shaped twig, Hole in a tree- describe size and location- what is it for? Unusual shaped leaf- do a leaf rubbing on your page, Multi-coloured rock, Change of season-how you can tell? Snail-where, how it got there, where's it from? Feather-describe feel, kind of animal, Earth/dirt/mud –smell, feel, taste? Evidence of animals?
LISTEN TO: leaves under your feet, Wind in the trees, Birds singing, The sound of a bug/fly/bee
FEEL: Bark on a tree, Lie down in the grass, Textures of rocks, A prickly plant
SMELL: Fresh air and sea/salt air, Grass, Cedar tree, A flower
WATCH: An animal or bug eating, A leaf falling to the ground, Fish jumping, For something unusual or different

When the Going Gets Tough, Do the Tough Really Get Going?

When life's circumstances get in the way of your relationship with a significant other, how do you cope?  How do they?

PERSONAL STYLE
Sometimes people react in anger and frustration to uncomfortable situations.  Often our own stubbornness, pride, self-doubt or fear can boycott the whole discussion and get in the way of resolution.

Your way of 'discussing' can backfire and may be hurtful and demeaning to someone you care about.
Bolting from the argument or shutting down, playing the ignoring game, or guilt-tripping doesn't get you anywhere.

CHANGING YOUR PERSONAL STYLE
Being aware of your message delivery or personality 'flaws' can be the biggest tool in learning how to 'fight fair' to resolve disagreements.  Often changing something as simple as your tone of voice or body language can positively alter an altercation!

RESOLUTION
My advice is for each person to decide what it is they want and how they think this can be achieved...come together in a neutral place, with a positive attitude and a desire to make things work.  From there, you negotiate, discuss, come up with a plan together.

COMMUNICATE!
In order for this to happen though, BOTH parties must be prepared to bring something to the table...ie what changes are you prepared to make; get past your wants and identify common wants.

There are always two sides to a situation and therefore you both need to work towards a solution...if one of you doesn't want to, it won't work!

Be kind, be thoughtful, be proactive, and check your expectations of yourself and each other...I bet they are unreasonable and high!

Before you 'get going' when things get tough, make the effort to come to a workable solution...after all, this person is someone you care a great deal for and don't want to hurt :)

Self-care strategies for when things get tough

SELF-CARE

Taking care of YOURSELF is one of the best preventative measures for dealing with stressful situations. It also has a remarkable affect on your overall health.  The better you are, the better you are able to process and handle stress...sometimes you have no control over what is happening, but if you are able to find ways to feel good, it can really help.

Being healthy means a number of things, but the basics include: eating well, sleeping well, being active, planning/scheduling, communicating your thoughts and feelings, if possible; it's about making healthy choices.

 By doing these things, you can help reduce the stress and anxiety in your life and therefore build resilience (strength) when dealing with stressful events.

Here is a little acronym to help win the battle:

ACCEPTS

ACTIVITIES- Engage in hobbies; do cleaning; go to events; call or visit a friend; play computer games; go walking; work; exercise; go out for a meal; garden; do a puzzle; knit...

CONTRIBUTE- Contribute to something; volunteer; give something to someone else; make something nice for someone else; do a surprising, thoughtful thing!

COMPARE- Compare yourself to people coping the same as you or less well than you...Compare yourself to those less fortunate...watch soap operas; watch disasters or others suffering.

EMOTIONS- Read emotional books or stories; listen to emotional music; read joke books; watch comedies, chick flicks, family videos; go to a store and read sappy cards.

PUSHING AWAY- Push the situation away by leaving for a while. Leave the situation, mentally.  Build an imaginary wall between you and the situation.

THOUGHTS- Count to 10, count colours in a painting or tree, window, anything...watch tv, read.

SENSATIONS- Hold ice in your hand; squeeze a rubber ball really hard; stand under a very hard and hot shower; listen to loud music; sex; put a rubber band on your wrist; let go...


Contact me for personal counselling at http://www.rebeccajscott.ca